Part 29, onwards and upwars i hope

The fabulous Mr fabulous, is just that FABULOUS
Today mr fabulous tried something for the first time ever, PASTA WITH SAUCE, was so shocked, I doubt he’ll revisit this moment of madness but was just great all the same.

He is after taking a major stretch and he’s just a whole new child. His interaction is fantastic and his non verbal methods of communication are so clear and visible. He really has amazed me with his new found devilment streak as well. He will do anything for devilment, he loves when I have to run after him to grab something off him or chase him for getting dressed. He is so capable now as well, he’s becoming very independent and interested. He is even starting to tolerate Lunatic john so much more. I have Mr fabulouss tutor Fid and my dear friend Bruno mr fabulous’s therapist to thank for a lot of this. They work so hard with mr fabulous that it’s really showing and paying off. DH, Crazy jane and I will take a little bit of credit of coarse but just a little lol. Now if they could rid me of my crazy artist mr fabulous who paints with shite (no really, shite) I would be so delighted lol.

Lunatic john is still the same lunatic as ever, that child will put me in an early grave I swear. He’s so funny, just so smart, cheeky and energetic. He has us exhausted and his tantrums are horrific but he’s just so damn cute. He walks around the house with the car keys babbling away to him self in Portuguese (Brazilian) and English, add in baby babble and we have www.confusedmamanddad.com we never know what he’s on about but he’s just so funny.

Crazy jane is becoming soo grown up it’s scary. She’s ten going on 14. She went to the cinema to see eclipse (twilight) and she looked amazing all done up in her black dress, denim jacked, perfect hair and make up. I really just had to stop and look at her; she was soo beautiful and just older than her years. I always knew shed be so much more mature in her age than most as I could see the build up to it, I suppose when your telling the world at the age of 4 you want to wear thongs and bras you got to wonder.

I have spent the last few weeks in misery, so much so that I struggled to even get out of bed but I did something on the 6th of July that ill never be more grateful for, go me yay. I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF. I still shed the odd tear when I speak of Dr Rogers and what he has done to me, ok so floods of tears, I lied, but it’s reducing every day. I can’t go into too much detail but most of my blog followers from face book know what I did, maybe in a few months I can go into more detail here.

My birthday brought a lot of different emotions with it. I actually wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening and that it was months away, not because of my age (I’m still the baby) but because of my frame of mind. Life was really bad and I just wanted to fall down a big hole and stay there to be honest. But DH and CRAZY JANE really made it a special day and CRAZY JANE my friend Sam and I went horse riding and I loved it. I was soo happy I didn’t let my depression take my birthday away.

I’m slowly starting to get back to my old self and feeling more positive and good again, it was so bad there for a while. I’m exhausted from all the stress, work and negative thinking that I let it suck me under, I even started to eat soo much crap for comfort and now I’m huge, I have so much weight to loose, I feel soo different and negative about my appearance, I’m even paranoid to wear most of my clothes.

I’m determined to loose this weight and get my backside back in motion. I was recently studying psychology and Child Psychology and gave up through the diagnosis and pregnancy period but I re enrolled and I’m due to start back very soon, I cannot wait as my brain is starting to cry out for me to use it again. I think being around my friend who is a Psychologist/Psychiatrist and our debates and long chats and advice to each other has really made me crave to study again. DH has also been at me for the last year to return to my studies as he knew I needed it. DH is freaky that way; he can read me like a book even when I can’t read my own self.

I got some great news today which has me so relieved and just so happy. A major bill which I hadn’t received but was aware it was coming was cut dramatically down to a third, this is just fantastic news as since having to buy the new car and employ a therapist for Crazy jane and Mr fabulous I’m struggling financially and it’s really hard to make ends meet. I can’t do half the things I used to and take the kids half the places we used to go, even horse riding has had to take a back seat and it’s really the pits. But it will all be worth it I hope in the long run and I know I’m spending my money on vital services for my kids that the state refuses to provide and that makes it easier. Let me hear ya, HOLLER we want DCA, DCA, god I really hope some miracle happens and I get CRAZY JANE’s awarded to me as I really NEED it, fingers crossed, ill keep yee all posted xx and again, thanks for all the support, believing in me and standing up for me, ill never forget it xxxx

Posted by i at 1:47 PM

4 comments:

Jen said...

Delighted to see you on the up hun, such a relief. Sounds like the children are flying along too. Lovely to catch up, thanks for the update:) Jen

July 22, 2010 1:58 PM

Casdok said...

Sounds like you have had a lot on your plate, so good to hear you are begining to feel your old self.

July 23, 2010 12:19 AM

Anonymous said...

great blog maddy, so glad things are looking up for you.

July 23, 2010 12:32 PM

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Hey Maddy, how about going with that website www.confusedmamanddad.com? I like the sound of it! Great to hear that so many things are looking better: I feel really energised after reading this post, not usual for me on a Friday night xx

July 23, 2010 2:00 PM