part 22 MANIC

Well what can I say manic depression I do not have but im certainly manic at the moment. Life keeps swinging up and down and I cannot seem to balance it. I don’t even know where to start so that I can write about it so that it will make sense to all reading it.

Lunatic john, Jesus Christ that child, I will put him up for adoption before long lol. What the hell is up with this bloody child? Kiddie Pharmaton, well it worked for 3 days and that’s it, he’s back not eating and sleeping again but the massive ear infection he has just had could have a lot to do with that. He’s killing me, slowly painfully torturing me. I love this child to pieces but I cannot seem to function with him.

The squeal, may god forgive me but that squeal is unbearable, he cannot be alone ever, sleep, what’s that?

Mr fabulous is just impossible at the moment. He is dismantling everything and breaking everything. Biting, anything that he can, including his tutor. He gave her a massive skin breaking bite on her shoulder, I almost cried when I saw it. It’s a very bad bite and she down played but I knew she was hurt and in pain from it. She’s so good that she was trying not to make a big deal of it but it was BAD. He is also trying to squeeze Lunatic john’s head, Jesus he will crush him. I can only assume that when Lunatic john squeals that Mr fabulous thinks he is in pain so as Mr fabulous is constantly getting his head squeezed when he is off form, he thinks this is what Lunatic john needs too. I think the pinching is Mr fabulous’s way of giving deep pressure also.

All I can say its A NUT HOUSE RIGHT NOW

Crazy jane is really enjoying her architecture course in CTYI. Even thoe she is sooo shy and terrified looking every time we drop her in, she comes out smiling and bursting with chat about all she did.

Crazy jane wrote her first blog and she has almost 20 comments on her post and nearly 100 hits. She is so delighted and it really gave her a confidence and self esteem lift

She had so much fun writing it and I was like her PA typing it as she said it lol, we had a giggle doing it. She put a picture of her holding her favourite picture that she ever drew, she loves that picture. I had to laugh as Crazy jane is so vain at times and there where moments of vanity in the blog too.

Crazy jane is going through an odd time, she comes home from school, gets into her PJ’S and stays in all day. I hate when she does this as she loves being out doors. I keep asking if anything is wrong but she’s actually quite happy. I’ve been watching out for all the signs of depression and anxiety but there are none. I think she’s needing her own space from friends as she is so busy in school and she is loving school at the moment so I think she making so much more of an effort and that because she’s so happy in school she’s mixing more and concentrating more so she is just pure shattered when she comes home that she needs a time out from peers, although not from me which is nice but tiring also lol. She is also in an art class, brownies and CTYI every week and that is also a lot of outside interaction and she’s quite happy to maintain that and leave it at that lol.

I had a meeting in her school, I was dreading it but it was great, they are taking everything from the S***S report on board and going with it. We decided to keep her back a year and crazy jane is quite happy with that also. Everything is going really well and they have an excellent education plan for the rest of the year in place for Crazy jane. I might escape private therapy this year which will give me time to save up for it for next year, that will help loads as money is getting tighter and tighter at the moment and they keep cutting me more and more so that’s not helping.

My moods are swinging up and down all the time. Im still exhausted and drained from Lunatic john but im excited about a new project im doing with two other friends of mine. We have been providing art classes to a few kids privately in the art teachers house and my self and my friend where giving her a hand with the kids and materials etc. It got so popular that more kids joined in and were running out of room for them all.

We are now starting up this art class in the town, we are renting a room out and taking 15 kids per class for the 8 to 12 year olds and 10 per class for the 5 to 7 year olds. My self and my friend are fetac level 5 and 6 special needs qualified and we both have personal experience living with special needs and the artist has massive degree in art and also has personal experience with special needs and has worked with special needs in the past. We are hoping to provide this service to special needs children also.

This has been really good for me as it is keeping me focussed and busy. Im enjoying getting everything sorted and in place for it and I am really looking forward to helping out with it. It is nice as I have all these qualifications sitting there going to waist as I cannot work due to my emotional and mental health and my families circumstances so at least I can volunteer some small amount of my time to this. I really hope for the kid’s sake that this is a success as Aine is an amazing artist and great with kids, Crazy janera loves this art group and she is gaining so much from it in all ways possible.

Things are still major stressful and tiredness is crippling me and DH. Again were muddling through and dipping along the way but were managing. Lunatic john is back in hospital this week for his blood tests and to see a dietician so fingers crossed all goes well. I have to take Mr fabulous to the GP for full medical to see if there could be any cause to the sudden biting and pinching like a middle ear infection etc. His OT will get a behavioural psych involved too as he could seriously injure someone and especially another child, that would kill me all together. I really hope Mr fabulous calms down and this is not a continuing thing as it is so out of character from him. He is usually so placid and easy going but of course with the usual autism crap on top but manageable. Jesus every day with Mr fabulous is like groundhog day, it’s the same so you know in advance what your in for so that made it so do able, manageable, predictable, now scrap that and we have unpredictable, un manageable and with Lunatic john on top, haha now all I can say is ST ITAS do you have a spare bed as im a coming your way, seriously, they will bloody send me gaga

11 comments:

Petunia said...

Christ Maddy I'm tired just reading that! You must be exhausted chick :( I did get excited reading that Mr fabulous was squeezing Lunatic johns head as may think he has a headache from squeeling... empathy!! Go Mr fabulous :D (hey we have to look for the silver lining or we'll end up in straightjackets eh??) Good luck with the art classes missus, I hope you get as much out of them as the kids do xxx

February 21, 2010 4:38 AM

i said...

lol tracy yea i suppose mr fabulouss doing a good thing in his own way lol

as for straight jackets, mines ordered and in the post hehe

thanks hun, il keep you all posted on the classes xxxxx

keep the suggestion for special needs coming, we want to include and promote community spirit xx

February 21, 2010 5:06 AM

Lorraine said...

Maddy you sure are having a hard time (suppose you did not get the ear muffs) yet!! sorry to hear that Mr fabulous is playing up right now you could be right about inner ear infection can send them crazy as they cant tell you what is wrong things will be okay for you as you have your heart in the right place and best of luck with the classes dont know how you find the time !! Fantastic work done for Crazy jane on her blog what an artist xx

February 21, 2010 6:12 AM

Jen said...

Oh no, I will keep my fingers crossed that Lunatic john settles down again when his ear clears and the pharmaton kicks back in for him:) Loved Crazy janes blog. Hope the art classes are a huge success, fair dues to you girl, you are a powerhouse:) Jen.

February 21, 2010 9:03 AM

claireh said...

maddy how do u keep so cheerful. im drained just reading this and u get so much done.

Gotta say i admire ur positivity!!! I love that crazy jane is doing so well and ur relationship is so close

:)

February 21, 2010 1:26 PM

Looking for Blue Scrazy jane said...

Just amazing how you keep smiling and achieving so much and helping so many other people :D

February 21, 2010 3:01 PM

Anonymous said...

Lora Hawkins Aspiotis You, my dear, need a week at a spa somewhere! No kidding! You have so much on you that it is incredible. How do you do it? I sure hope that Mr fabulous calms down and that someone finds a way to help him with his behaviors, that has got to be so terribly frustrating.....I feel for you Honey, really I do because you've got a tough road you're on.

I know ... See Morewhat it's like to have mood swings because I am bipolar and I know that it is sometimes terrifying and sometimes you just feel so out-of-control and helpless. Don't know if that's how you feel but when I'm on that rollercoaster that's how I feel.

Love and Hugs to you Hun. You deserve to have a break, hope that you can find a way to give yourself a day of pampering and self-indulgence....wouldn't that be fun?

February 21, 2010 3:20 PM

I said...

hi guys thanx a mil for your lovely comments

im praying this is my bubble burst and im breaking out, this depression has been a really bad one, im still no way near recovered but im recovering and now that i have a goal, an aim, a target and a focus im able to release the pressure of everything else a bit. I just hope it doent bite me in the ass but if you dont try you will never know

im really trying to wash dr george out of my hair LOL

February 21, 2010 3:23 PM

Autimom said...

wow maddy, you really are having all things thrown at you all at once, and it seems like this art thing will be great for you too as well as the kids. YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING WOMAN xxx

February 22, 2010 3:25 PM

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say..great post as usual. Bloody FB won't let me comment on your post.Delighted that Crazy jane is doing so well...I hope the boys settle down soon, and best of luck with the art classes,great idea xx

February 28, 2010 8:48 AM

Casdok said...

Volunteer work saved my sanity (my friends might disagree!). The art classess sound great.

Hope you get to the bottom of Mr fabulous biting as it is very painful - i remember it well from C.

Hang in there - your doing a great job.

March 10, 2010 1:40 AM