My Fabulous Kids, Part 35 OMG its twins

So what the hell have we been up to since October, well it sure wasn’t sleeping, that’s for sure.  So the sleep deprivation continues and we are living on our last nerves but sure aren’t we always.  My self and my hubby decided to try for one last baby, with the hope of a girl and we hit the jackpot, a double whammy so to speak.  5 months of chlomid pill popping, exhaustion but trying to conceive through it, trying to stay positive and hopeful through the strain of autism, and there it is, 6 months of trying finally a positive pregnancy test after a little miss the previous month. We are over the moon, nervous but over the moon.  I was wiped out, omg it must be a girl I thought to myself, only a girl could make me feel this sick and this tired, I slept and puked for 14 weeks solid.  I lost nearly 2 stone.  An accident with Mr fab landed me in hospital at 14 weeks pregnant, a little bleed and a nervous me went to A&E with my dear friend Sue, all was fine but a scan to be on safe side revealed 2 babies, not just 1, WHAT, omg WHAT, you are shitting with me right, NO oh f**k, it really is twins.  Mixed emotions, from happy to shitting it to happy to denial to how the hell am I going to manage twins in my crazy house. 

 December was the hardest ever Mr fab wise, school holidays came, and he went insane with boredom.  I had no energy for the poor kid, and he was becoming a little bit aggressive and very frustrated, hold on, this is not my kid, what the hell is this about, he’d wake at 3/4 am in chronic tantrum and full on aggression, hitting, kicking, pinching, biting, screaming, the whole 9 yards, but this wasn’t just at night, it was all day every day.  My poor baby.  I sobbed and sobbed (hormones added to that).  I was so distraught to see him in such a bad way, and confused as this was not typical behaviour from him at all.  My hubby and I tried everything, nothing worked, we even resorted to sedation, again didn’t work.  This is not funny anymore, what the hell is wrong with my son.  Christmas was pure misery, he just threw tantrums and self injured himself the whole way through, we never got a break from the screaming.  Our cuddle monster rejected all form of touch, sympathy, consoling everything.  Eventually school started back, ah now this will get him back to himself, unfortunately it did not, ok we need professional help now. 

 We have now got a behavioural psychologist on board, brilliant, let’s go, how do we fix this and get my little happy Mr Fab back to himself.  Trials, errors and record keeping, that’s how.  Mr Fab gets respite 2 days a week as his aggression has caused me injury on several occasions when DH not here.  A move we never imagined we would ever have to make, Mr Fab away from home, never sure we would never need that kind of service, em yes we do.  The first few weeks of respite I sobbed and was heart broke at what I was doing to my son, eh didn’t take me long to get over it, swimming, horse riding, trips to parks, yep he was living the high life and I, us, we where far from his mind.   After nearly 2 months we have cracked it, my poor child had a gastric bug just before Xmas, a nasty one at that.  It must have ate away part of his intestinal tract and now any msg or citric acid was literally burning Mr Fab from the inside out.  Yes my orange juice and orange loving fan was in pain from one of his favourite foods, oranges, jellies and noodles.  Can it really be that simple, YES it can?  Elimination of all jellies, citric acid and msg and now I have my wonderful happy Mr fab back to himself.

 So one sorted, 2 to go, Crazy Jane still as mad as ever, omg she’ll be the death of me that girl.  Still got all sorts of crazy going on in her whacked out mind, still anxious and now OCD has come back with a vengeance (well it never really left but did improve) weight issues, paranoia and now we got mild self harming to add to the long list of many behaviours.  Again influences from school not helping matters with their comments, but let’s face it, this will always be a problem when it comes to Crazy Jane. She is receiving cognitive behavioural therapy, she gets on with her psychologist and that’s great, I like her too but get frustrated at how she takes Crazy at face value, she’s not great at reading between the lines and looking underneath the surface but at least she’s helping her so that’s ok.  We will be going for a psychiatric assessment in a few months time so dreading this.  High IQ’s mixed with anxiety and ocd is pure evil I tell you. 

 Now for lunatic John, he’s great yes but omg the whinging, I can’t bare the whinging.  Thank god it’s not just him and all his friends too or id be dragging him to a psychiatrist and all.  It is a phase, but one he had better hurry up and get past before I kill him.  He flew his 3 year developmental check and the only issue is still his weight but not much can be done, he is a skinny guy with a very fast metabolism (so jealous) and that’s just all there is too it. 

 So this twin pregnancy, weird is all I can use to describe it,  They kill me from the inside out, I got a left hip being knocked out of place, sciatica, synphis pubis dysfunction and my back literally feels like it is broke and missing its back bone.  Sleep, well between Mr Fab (who has decided 3/4 am wake ups is just gonna be his thing) lunatic john who is whinging in his sleep but “loudly” and the unborn twins killing me with pain all day and all night, sleep yet again escapes me, but oddly I have become so used to it that it seems normal now lol.  It’s gonna be sooooooo much fun when the twins are born, ill never sleep again and may be popping 20 valume just to get me through the day.

 I have 10 weeks left and I am on operation house/garden face lift.  I want a new house and garden for my new babies.  I am enjoying shopping all round me for them, one boy and one girl.  We are over the moon to finally have a girl to shop for after 6 years of boy stuff.  Crazy is just soo happy to finally be getting the sister she has been praying for since she was 4 years old. With Luca being so out of sorts and needing so much of our time and energy, the adoption is on hold for a few years, we need to concentrate on the kids we have here and now so that when we are functioning normally again we will have that same time and energy to devote to our adopted child.  We will do it, just not for a few years yet. 

 So that’s it, the story is up to date, we are still a bunch of nutters living in a crazy house in a crazy world, but were happy, healthy and managing (just about).  I love my family even with all the madness, it proves every day the love we have for each other, the passion we have for life and its challenges, the strength we have within us, the bond we all have, and most of all, the unconditional love we have for our children, really what more could you want in life, money is nothing, happiness is everything, and were happy, broke but happy, life is good.